Just do it

Yeah, that's what my new motto is. 

Just freaking do it.

 I don't care about my excuses anymore. 

Because in all reality I am the only one standing in the way. Other people telling me i'm not good enough, well, they are wrong. Just because I'm not the 'picture perfect' woman doesn't mean I'm not freaking beautiful. Now I just have to make myself believe those words. I'm going to work my body until it cannot be worked anymore, and then push it even farther. Until I'm dead I will work my body out. 

No more junk food, no more soda.
No more excuses.
No more crying about being fat.

No more.
I'm mad.
And if that is what it takes to change myself then I will stay mad. 

I have been beat down for so long that I started believing it. 

I DO believe it. 

But, I can change it.

 I can change the way I look at myself. And when I do start looking at myself differently, then no one else's opinion will EVER matter EVER again. 

And I will be running and leaving everyone's opinions in the dust behind me. 

Gotta go work out now. 

Peace. 

Easter

Got these for Easter from the family! Thank you guys!!!!

Love you much!

There are moments...

There are moments in life that you remember for the rest of your life.

I made a new moment today. 

I was looking through my photos that I've taken this week when I received a message from a cousin that my great grandmother had died. I was stunned. I knew this was coming...but nothing can prepare you for the death of a loved one. Nothing. 

Pork Chops!

Soooo, I decided to pan fry pork chops last night. I know, I know, so bad for you. But I couldn't help it, T hasn't had them like this so I decided to go for it. I ended up making them into sandwiches with mommas french fries and sauce. Cause T and I  love that. (: 

So here goes. 

This is the flour. I mixed flour, salt and pepper, and then a lot of Cayenne Pepper. We love our food spicy! (: Just mix however much you want to make. But you are only dipping the Pork Chops in once on each side so you won't need that much. 

Then, I put pepper on both sides of the meat, and a little garlic salt.

Before I start dipping the meat, I turn the stove on medium high heat and add olive oil and Butter (for flavor and the goldenness).

Then...I dip!!

See, so golden and pretty. I let both sides cook for about 5 to 6 minutes since the Pork Chops were about half an inch to an inch. 

Cut the potatoes in half. then into fourths. Mom said to spray with olive oil or leave plain while in the oven. I sprayed mine lightly.

Then I made the sauce. (hehe, the sandwich is in the background. Cool beans!)

My great grandmother..

I knew it was coming. Our entire family has been holding our breath waiting for this kind of day. Although we didn't expect it to happen like this. 

There are certain things in our generation that, sometimes I would honestly just wish would somehow get deleted. Like Facebook. It's TOO much sometimes. 

---

Last night I was just scrolling down my news feed, I saw two posts from family saying they were, "heartbroken" and "going to go to bed crying tonight." I got curious. Then I saw it more. So i messaged a family friend, I stared at this picture for a full two minutes and I could have sworn it was an hour more. 

The news was about my great grandmother. My great grandpa was deciding to turn off her machines this morning. Part of me is thankful because she won't be in so pain. But it still hurts so much. I spent a lot of time with them when I was little because I stayed with my grandma Red, who is their daughter. Everyone is hoping that he changes his mind, but once he makes up his mind about something, there is no changing it. And if it lessens her pain...

This wonderful woman will always be in our hearts.  I love you grandma!!

So this day is a dull one. Because without this sweet sweet woman, the sky won't seem so bright for a little woman. But she lead a full and long life. Which I am so thankful for. <3

Stressing Out..

I am completely stressing out about the move. T has decided that it will be best to live off base. And I agree. Because saving 500$ is better than paying the entire 1700 to the military. Kind of a rip off. 

But anyways, we found 3 absolutely adorable apartments that we have to look at saturday because if we don't they will be given away. 

There were places that weren't available until august.

Apparently Cali is somewhere people wanna be.

Who knew. :P 

Anyways. I'm really excited by it all, but I'm also very stressed out.

Very.

Like, having panic attacks stressed.

And usually I do so well with it all...

Anyways, just a little tad bit of information. 

Just a little funnnn...

I know. Randomness. But it was fun. I also have pictures of eggs. Yepp. 

Totally was messing with curve levels and this popped out. But Me Likey!!!

What exactly does this mean?

I cleaned my stove today...

It pretty much made my day. 

...

Cleaning. The. Stove. Made. My. Day.

Since when did I become an adult?

I want to make a fort and play video games and just ignore the world for a little while  one day.

Yeah...not worry about the issues...

the car registration,

Abby chewing my things up,

T's phone not charging,

the phone bill,

the internet bill,

the car insurance,

bills,

bills,

and more bills. 

Not to mention the cleaning.

((We don't even have kids and I swear this house gets dirty from NOTHING!!))

And the adultness.

---

I already have trouble sleeping.

I burnt my hand hair..it smells.

It's late and I'm sitting her staring at my gorgeous stove that took me 2 and a half hours to clean....

I'm staring at a stove smiling goofily.

I'm either insane or just amused easily..

I'm sure T would say I'm insane. :P 

I should get to bed now...

<3

Happiness :D

I haven't been blogging of much importance lately.

Mostly because, honestly, T and I have been super busy and routine. Nothing really even remotely exciting has happened. 

Wait. Unless I forgot to say ya know, that T and I are moving to Camp Pendelton!

May 23-29th. Somtime then. :p

I'm beyond excited! (: 

---

Anyways, sorry, rambling.

So, we have been working out and just been busy with saving our money and preparing for our move.

Oh yeah, from my last post about my weight? I'm getting there. I'm doing a "Cave-man Diet" which is actually just a cleanse. And I am really seeing improvement. :D 

So, today I picked up T and we came home. Took our Friday nap.

And then we decided to take the dogs out for a little walk. 

And I'm gonna add in some pictures of our friends coming over a couple of weeks ago.

I think I will miss them the most. 

I don't wanna think about it, cause then I'll cry...

((And just a side note for the first photos, I was having fun, don't judge. :P))

So adorable! (:

Shawn, Lyndsey's Husband

My Bestie, Lyndsey

I feel bad, cause we let Sammy off his leash, but she just doesn't respond as well as him just yet. But I think she still enjoyed being out there. :D

Running back. :P 

Of course he looks like a model. >:P

I love him <3

I am actually gonna miss this view!

Blah

Today was...horrid and great.

Weird day.

I did a Bod Pod this morning at 9am.

I barely made it to the car without crying.

Let me explain.

---

A Bod Pod is...I'll give you a link.

Click Here for Bod Pod Information

--

The Bod Pod tells you your:

% Fat

% Fat Free Mass

Fat mass (In pounds)

Fat Free Mass (In pounds)

Body Mass (Your weight)

---

I was glad that I had math to show me just how fat I was.
(Note...SARCASM:)

A scale just tells you how much you weigh. That's all. The Bod Pod told me how much of me was fat.....which was a lot. I mean, to me. 

The female body is supposed to be around 18.1%-30% to be lean or just at a good healthiness.

I had more. So of course my mind just read, "YOU ARE FAT."

But, it helped me see how much I really do need to buckle down and lose this weight. When I go back to get it done again in about a month and a half, I am hoping to see some progress. I want that fat percentage to go down. I want to be in the 18.1%-22% range by June. My birthday.

That is all I'm asking.

I'm cutting out soda.

I'm cutting out junk.

Fast food.

I need to. 

I want to.

It's not healthy to be at my percentage. 

And I am going to change that.

It's going to be hard.

I will definitely cry.

A lot.

More.

But hopefully by June I will walk by a mirror and look into it and be happy with the person staring back at me.

Because, if I'm honest with myself. 

I HATE what I see in the mirror.

But I will change that.

---

Now the good part.

I cut my hair off.

And I love it.

That's all. :P 

<3

Getting teary-eyed...

Yesterday my aunt suggested I start a scrapbook to show our children and grandchildren. A book to show them all of mine and Tony's adventures. Which I thought was a really good idea. 

Today, I started looking at apartments in CA near Camp Pendelton that would be a good fit for us.

And as I was looking I started to think and then I even got some tears in my eyes.

I am going to miss this place. 

Tony and I haven't been in one place more than a year since we got married.

Our first apartment? Six months.

Then this apartment, by the time we leave we will have been here almost 11 months.

So close. 

So our next apartment, or whatever it will be, i'm hoping we are going to be there a LONG time.

Because frankly, I want to paint. And make it OUR home. 

Tony and I could only do so much with this apartment because getting a dresser, entertainment center, or whatever else was needed could wait. We didn't want to have to draaagg pack all of those things up to take with us.

I know, sounds crazy, but it makes sense to us.

---

As I was looking over apartments and costs and what not. I started thinking about pretty much everything.

What about the dogs?

Sam sheds SOOO much, and Abby can't hold her pee more than 10 minutes.

What about our friends!? 

We finally made more than one! :P 

And the questions go on and on.

This wife is getting stressed and we aren't even moving for another three months!!

I think I need to just make that scrapbook......

Bullying and Racism; My thoughts

Social networking started a long time ago. Just like most things, it started small and grew bigger and bigger. Facebook, Myspace, Youtube and more.

I'm saying this because as of tonight, I have become a social networking bash.

In other words, I stated my opinion on a certain issue and have ended up with negative results. Which honestly is fine. I knew I was going to be lighting a fire. 

What I didn't know was that that fire was going to be within my own family.

I grew up in the South. They have strong opinions about pretty much everything and looove sweet tea.

Well, I guess all those good ole traits skipped me. I rarely drink sweet tea and I'm not racist.

In middle school I had a best friend, Tabitha. She was black. But I didn't notice it or even care honestly. Until my father told me she couldn't come over because she wasn't the same color as me. Well NEWSFLASH, I am albino with freckles..........a lot of people don't have the same skin color as me. But as a kid I didn't understand. And I think that as I grew older and started understanding certain things....well no. I didn't become a racist. 

From my own comment on Facebook to my father...

 If you are racist then at least stick to it and give me something to work with. Our ancestors made their own decisions. You make yours. Racism is taught. Therefore people TEACH their children to hate. To bully. And you are right, I have turned out to be a great person. But only because I stand up for the weak.?? Because I put my opinion out there? No. Because I don't judge someone by the color of their skin. Or their religion. I judge someone by their character! By what they say. Any one person can have an opinion, but what you do with that opinion makes you the person you are. I didn't bully anyone with my status or my comments. Did I? I didn't say anything bad except for the FACT that people now a days don't think past what their mothers or fathers told them to think. America is supposed to be about equality and freedom and yet it is 2014 and we "the people" are still having a freaking HISSY FIT over a black history month. And are still throwing HISSY FITS because of interracial marriages. America is scared of anything that is different. When what we REALLY should be scared of is the STARVING. And the HOMELESS. And the VETERANS. The things that actually matter. There will be hate in every culture. In every human being. Choosing to be a good person is determined at a young age. I have never ever walked into a room and decided to sit in a certain place because there was a black, or asian, or any kind of race in the same room. Underneath the skin color we are all muscles and bones. I'm sorry that you have such a harsh opinion on skin color but you are literally just making yourself be the bad guy. EVERYONE HAS DONE SOMETHING BAD. Doesn't matter what color the skin. 

I got very passionate about what I was speaking and I don't feel bad for it. If you choose to be racist. Then keep that amongst yourselves. The world needs more children out there to grow up in a bully free environment. To grow up and not be scared to be friends with the black kid sitting next to them just because of their skin color. The United States is supposed to be about freedom of speech. About equality. The video I am going to post pretty much made me cry. And only because these kids get so passionate about the situation. If we could all have that innocent mindset when it comes to "judging" a specific person we would probably all have more friends. You should choose who you hang around because of someone's personality. Not their skin color or religion or anything else that doesn't "sit right with you." You should be friends with someone because of their character and their personality. 

Enough about this for now. My hands hurt from all the typing. I will leave you with this awesome video.

Please Please go watch it HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Road Not Taken

I love poems.

I used to write them all of the time when I was in school.

That and short stories.

I miss staying up late and looking for old authors.

My all time favorite was Edgar Allen Poe.

Robert Frost was a close second.

E. E. Cummings.

So I decided tonight that every week I will post a poem. Or two. Or just whenever I find one that I just love.

:D 

Tonight is one by Robert Frost.

"The Road Not Taken"

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; 

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day! 
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. 

Owls Owls Owls

My mamma in law made me the CUTEST owl wallet. 

For valentines day.

I love it.

I'm so happy I asked her to make me one. 

It turned out even better than what I imagined.

So Thanks mamma Lou!! 

I love you! 

(That rhymed. :)

Abby

Getting a new pet is a big step. 

As a child it teaches you responsibility, and as an adult...oh...it still teaches the same thing.

T and I adopted Sam, our boy at 18 months.

As soon as we saw him, we just knew that he would make a great addition to our little couplet.

And of course he did. He has been such an amazing dog. 

[[His picture is to the left.]]

---

Well, last year we started talking about adopting another puppy for Sam to play with since he seemed kind of lonely. But we wanted to wait tip we were financially ready.

Well, this month we were ready. 

We went to our regular shelter looking for a dog puppy. Young. I wanted to raise it up, ya know? 

Well, the shelter didn't have one that jumped out at us.

---

A little something about our selection process. 

We have this invisible kind of agreement when shopping for things. 

We are honest.

If we don't BOTH love the animal or item...we just don't get it.

And we both just kind of KNOW when we look for an animal.

Anywho, onto the next shelter. 

I was excited because we'd never been there.

I was just slightly upset when we were walking out with not even a single, "Oh wow, we LOVE him/her." 

And one thing my mother-in-law taught me was if you don't LOVE it, then don't go for it.

And that's how I pretty much choose EVERYTHING. :P
---

Anyways. So, walking out to our car, me a little saddened, I opened my door and looked behind the car to a couple walking two dogs. 

I kind of fell in love and casually told Tony to look at the German Shepherd. 

The man yelled to us, "They are both up for adoption."

I just smiled and walked over to the pups. 

I mean, no harm in checking them out right?

So so so right.

Right away I fell in love with Abby. 

And I looked up to T and he knew. 

He knew I wanted her.

We talked with the couple who were actually her owners but had to give her up. ):
Also, Jeff told us that on their walk back to the shelter they had prayed that a loving family would adopt their Abby and Lily. (The other dog. She was 7 and if we could have we would have taken her as well. She was a sweetheart.)

They told us all about Abby and I had to have her.

She wasn't a puppy puppy, but she was precious.
And I love precious.
(She turned a year Feb 2 '14 :)

And now we love Abby.

She is beautiful and kind and her and Sammy get along so so so well! (:

So thank you, Jeff and Polly for giving us another addition to our family.

She fits in so well. 

(I mean she slept in our bed all night last night. That's love. :)

<3 

<3

I'll add better photos of her later. My computer is being, blah. :P