Just do it

Yeah, that's what my new motto is. 

Just freaking do it.

 I don't care about my excuses anymore. 

Because in all reality I am the only one standing in the way. Other people telling me i'm not good enough, well, they are wrong. Just because I'm not the 'picture perfect' woman doesn't mean I'm not freaking beautiful. Now I just have to make myself believe those words. I'm going to work my body until it cannot be worked anymore, and then push it even farther. Until I'm dead I will work my body out. 

No more junk food, no more soda.
No more excuses.
No more crying about being fat.

No more.
I'm mad.
And if that is what it takes to change myself then I will stay mad. 

I have been beat down for so long that I started believing it. 

I DO believe it. 

But, I can change it.

 I can change the way I look at myself. And when I do start looking at myself differently, then no one else's opinion will EVER matter EVER again. 

And I will be running and leaving everyone's opinions in the dust behind me. 

Gotta go work out now. 

Peace. 

Easter

Got these for Easter from the family! Thank you guys!!!!

Love you much!

There are moments...

There are moments in life that you remember for the rest of your life.

I made a new moment today. 

I was looking through my photos that I've taken this week when I received a message from a cousin that my great grandmother had died. I was stunned. I knew this was coming...but nothing can prepare you for the death of a loved one. Nothing. 

Pork Chops!

Soooo, I decided to pan fry pork chops last night. I know, I know, so bad for you. But I couldn't help it, T hasn't had them like this so I decided to go for it. I ended up making them into sandwiches with mommas french fries and sauce. Cause T and I  love that. (: 

So here goes. 

This is the flour. I mixed flour, salt and pepper, and then a lot of Cayenne Pepper. We love our food spicy! (: Just mix however much you want to make. But you are only dipping the Pork Chops in once on each side so you won't need that much. 

Then, I put pepper on both sides of the meat, and a little garlic salt.

Before I start dipping the meat, I turn the stove on medium high heat and add olive oil and Butter (for flavor and the goldenness).

Then...I dip!!

See, so golden and pretty. I let both sides cook for about 5 to 6 minutes since the Pork Chops were about half an inch to an inch. 

Cut the potatoes in half. then into fourths. Mom said to spray with olive oil or leave plain while in the oven. I sprayed mine lightly.

Then I made the sauce. (hehe, the sandwich is in the background. Cool beans!)

My great grandmother..

I knew it was coming. Our entire family has been holding our breath waiting for this kind of day. Although we didn't expect it to happen like this. 

There are certain things in our generation that, sometimes I would honestly just wish would somehow get deleted. Like Facebook. It's TOO much sometimes. 

---

Last night I was just scrolling down my news feed, I saw two posts from family saying they were, "heartbroken" and "going to go to bed crying tonight." I got curious. Then I saw it more. So i messaged a family friend, I stared at this picture for a full two minutes and I could have sworn it was an hour more. 

The news was about my great grandmother. My great grandpa was deciding to turn off her machines this morning. Part of me is thankful because she won't be in so pain. But it still hurts so much. I spent a lot of time with them when I was little because I stayed with my grandma Red, who is their daughter. Everyone is hoping that he changes his mind, but once he makes up his mind about something, there is no changing it. And if it lessens her pain...

This wonderful woman will always be in our hearts.  I love you grandma!!

So this day is a dull one. Because without this sweet sweet woman, the sky won't seem so bright for a little woman. But she lead a full and long life. Which I am so thankful for. <3

Stressing Out..

I am completely stressing out about the move. T has decided that it will be best to live off base. And I agree. Because saving 500$ is better than paying the entire 1700 to the military. Kind of a rip off. 

But anyways, we found 3 absolutely adorable apartments that we have to look at saturday because if we don't they will be given away. 

There were places that weren't available until august.

Apparently Cali is somewhere people wanna be.

Who knew. :P 

Anyways. I'm really excited by it all, but I'm also very stressed out.

Very.

Like, having panic attacks stressed.

And usually I do so well with it all...

Anyways, just a little tad bit of information. 

Just a little funnnn...

I know. Randomness. But it was fun. I also have pictures of eggs. Yepp. 

Totally was messing with curve levels and this popped out. But Me Likey!!!

What exactly does this mean?

I cleaned my stove today...

It pretty much made my day. 

...

Cleaning. The. Stove. Made. My. Day.

Since when did I become an adult?

I want to make a fort and play video games and just ignore the world for a little while  one day.

Yeah...not worry about the issues...

the car registration,

Abby chewing my things up,

T's phone not charging,

the phone bill,

the internet bill,

the car insurance,

bills,

bills,

and more bills. 

Not to mention the cleaning.

((We don't even have kids and I swear this house gets dirty from NOTHING!!))

And the adultness.

---

I already have trouble sleeping.

I burnt my hand hair..it smells.

It's late and I'm sitting her staring at my gorgeous stove that took me 2 and a half hours to clean....

I'm staring at a stove smiling goofily.

I'm either insane or just amused easily..

I'm sure T would say I'm insane. :P 

I should get to bed now...

<3

Happiness :D

I haven't been blogging of much importance lately.

Mostly because, honestly, T and I have been super busy and routine. Nothing really even remotely exciting has happened. 

Wait. Unless I forgot to say ya know, that T and I are moving to Camp Pendelton!

May 23-29th. Somtime then. :p

I'm beyond excited! (: 

---

Anyways, sorry, rambling.

So, we have been working out and just been busy with saving our money and preparing for our move.

Oh yeah, from my last post about my weight? I'm getting there. I'm doing a "Cave-man Diet" which is actually just a cleanse. And I am really seeing improvement. :D 

So, today I picked up T and we came home. Took our Friday nap.

And then we decided to take the dogs out for a little walk. 

And I'm gonna add in some pictures of our friends coming over a couple of weeks ago.

I think I will miss them the most. 

I don't wanna think about it, cause then I'll cry...

((And just a side note for the first photos, I was having fun, don't judge. :P))

So adorable! (:

Shawn, Lyndsey's Husband

My Bestie, Lyndsey

I feel bad, cause we let Sammy off his leash, but she just doesn't respond as well as him just yet. But I think she still enjoyed being out there. :D

Running back. :P 

Of course he looks like a model. >:P

I love him <3

I am actually gonna miss this view!

Blah

Today was...horrid and great.

Weird day.

I did a Bod Pod this morning at 9am.

I barely made it to the car without crying.

Let me explain.

---

A Bod Pod is...I'll give you a link.

Click Here for Bod Pod Information

--

The Bod Pod tells you your:

% Fat

% Fat Free Mass

Fat mass (In pounds)

Fat Free Mass (In pounds)

Body Mass (Your weight)

---

I was glad that I had math to show me just how fat I was.
(Note...SARCASM:)

A scale just tells you how much you weigh. That's all. The Bod Pod told me how much of me was fat.....which was a lot. I mean, to me. 

The female body is supposed to be around 18.1%-30% to be lean or just at a good healthiness.

I had more. So of course my mind just read, "YOU ARE FAT."

But, it helped me see how much I really do need to buckle down and lose this weight. When I go back to get it done again in about a month and a half, I am hoping to see some progress. I want that fat percentage to go down. I want to be in the 18.1%-22% range by June. My birthday.

That is all I'm asking.

I'm cutting out soda.

I'm cutting out junk.

Fast food.

I need to. 

I want to.

It's not healthy to be at my percentage. 

And I am going to change that.

It's going to be hard.

I will definitely cry.

A lot.

More.

But hopefully by June I will walk by a mirror and look into it and be happy with the person staring back at me.

Because, if I'm honest with myself. 

I HATE what I see in the mirror.

But I will change that.

---

Now the good part.

I cut my hair off.

And I love it.

That's all. :P 

<3